When you move to a new country, it’s important to network. You need to work to expand your professional contacts and also your social ones. If you’re like me, you have to force yourself to do activities like this. Your brain knows that it’s important but your heart says, wouldn’t you rather stay home where it’s more comfortable, why not go tomorrow instead?
In my first four months, I focused on settling into my job, learning how to use the transit system, learning how to shop for food, and things like that. As readers of this blog will know, I also spent a great deal of time pursuing various documentation such as residence and working permit extensions, a bank account, state health insurance coverage, etc.
I joined a global professional women’s group back in San Francisco called 85 Broads. (The name comes from the original group of New York City women that founded the organization. They all worked for Goldman Sachs at 85 Broad Street.) I joined with the understanding that there was a Stockholm chapter but thinking that I would get to know how it worked in San Francisco first. Unfortunately, I was too busy preparing for my big move and never attended a meeting there.
Last week, I noted there was a monthly meeting of the Stockholm group at a Tapas restaurant. I walked across the Kungsholmen district but was still too early so then I walked around for another half hour. When I started to fantasize about skipping the whole thing, I told myself how disappointed I would be in myself if I didn’t see the thing through. So I entered the restaurant, imaginary gun at my head.
Perhaps these people are networking in front of Stockholm City Hall in Kungsholmen, Stockholm. Photo by: Nicho Södling/imagebank.sweden.se
And…as almost always happens when I make myself enter a social situation in which I know no one, it was much better than I imagined.
There were around 15 or 20 women from around the world but they all work in Sweden now. Most had a Swedish husband. Since I have a paralegal certificate, I was especially eager to network with a few of the lawyers that were there. One of the organizers suggested that I attend a meeting of the American Women’s Club the following week. They were having a rare, “welcome new members” meeting. Stockholm’s AWC was, according to its website, founded in 1911 and is the second oldest American Women’s Club outside the United States.
I also met interesting women at that meeting. I have not yet joined but they have lots of small groups that get together and do all sorts of activities such as wine tasting, cooking, biking, etc. Like the first group, most of those women were in Sweden because they are married to a Swedish man. But I was surprised to learn that most of them met their (future) husband while they were on vacation in another country. Egypt. Thailand. Greece.
Whah?! Does this mean that you have to go to another country to meet a Swede? One would think your chances of meeting a Swede improve by living in Sweden.
But of course, I am exaggerating. As my friend, Helen pointed out (as an engineer, she’s always the logical thinker), both networking/social groups were made up of women whose initial connection to Sweden was meeting a Swede someplace else. That does not mean that you can’t meet Swedish men in Sweden.
Yes, I have heard of online dating, since you brought it up. No, there won’t be a blog soon about that!
OK, but let’s focus, here. Networking! I am glad I made myself go to these events. It’s always good to see and hear other people in a similar situation (working in a foreign country, living in a foreign country). I was advised at the AWC meeting, for example, to not try to desperately become a Swede but to just be myself. I think that’s good advice.
It’s good to expand your horizons both professionally and socially and I will continue to look for opportunities to meet new people. Perhaps a motorcycle class? A class on restoring a 1950’s automobile? A class offering barbequing tips? I can’t imagine why Helen (the logical thinker) is suddenly advising I take classes like these…
