Suddenly, my room became empty.
Now it looked almost as I found it when I moved in last August.
Empty white walls. Empty book shelves. Empty closet. Bare mattress on the bed.
I was sitting between my boxes and suitcases, horrified by the amount of things I had managed to accumulate in Stockholm and wondering how many kilos I had over 20…
All at once I received a text message from my Spanish friend:
“Last cig at your window?”
Window. Your. At. Cig. LAST.
These two weeks were full of “lasts”: “last Student Union party”, “last Café Bojan party”, “last corridor party”, “last barbecue”, “last bonfire at Lappis beach” and so on and there were so many “lasts” that in the end you forget that it’s really the last one, this one, yes, this one is really the last one, and now this is your last day with Clara, and this is the last one with Morgane, and that one with Luud…
Our group of friends in Erasmus was melting more and more, every day one or several of them were going back home and finally we went from 50 people to 10.
No, of course, I know that we will see each other again.
I know that I will see the Parisians already in September. I bet the French guys are going to organize a reunion of French Erasmus maybe during next spring. I know that I will see Anna when I go back to Moscow, I know that I will go to visit Claudia in Madrid. But…
Something is going to be left here, in Stockholm, forever. Our exchange year 2011-2012, our discovery of Stockholm, our first swim in the Baltic sea, our first Swedish winter, my 21st birthday…
We will never be here and now in Stockholm for the first time, all together, brought by different reasons to the same place.
But for the moment, let’s have a last cig at my window.