Tag archives for paternity

Parenting in Sweden: a road less bumpy

I had another one of those encounters recently, you know, the ones I’ve told you about before where a stranger makes pleasant small talk on the basis of your baby. But this came with something of a twist.

Cue kind old granddad type who approached my son and I at an outdoor cafe. After the obligatory ooooohs, aaaahs and smiles came the line: “let’s hope there’s a job for him when he grows up.”

It’s a sign of the times, I suppose, made nonetheless more prevalent right now, as I type this final blog post from from my homeland in England, where we are on vacation.

The news of the riots involving disillusioned youth around the country has dominated the news and even prompted one commentator on a late night current affairs programme to ask the question: “why doesn’t this happen in Sweden?”

For the short while I’ve been back, I’ve been quizzed and questioned by friends and family about life in Sweden with a child – on topics I’ve discussed throughout the course of this blog – and their response draws a common consensus.

They marvel at the generous parental leave system, are amazed at the benefits given to fathers. Further down the line they sigh in wonder at the heavily subsidized daycare services and praise the way parents can take leave to look after their sick children, not to mention the free higher education.  

Put simply, people are generally astonished how Swedish society supports the family unit in its various guises.

In Sweden, this is nothing new. The importance of social welfare for families first came to the forefront in the 1930s thanks to Gunnar and Alva Myrdal. Both husband and wife partnership and political allies, they co-authored the book Crisis in the Population Question (Kris i befolkningsfrågan) in 1934. What was written to propose solutions to the country’s declining birthrate at the time became an influential foundation for the Swedish welfare model to come.  

Crown Princess Victoria - watch this space and waist! Photo: Paul Hansen

No, it’s not perfect and there are many things still to bemoan but I feel quite priviledged to be parenting in Sweden. As the forefather and mother of this pro child-parent society, Gunnar and Alva would be no doubt proud to know that Sweden tops the rankings in the latest Children’s Index, published by Save the Children, which rates developed countries on well-being in childhood. I won’t dwell too much on the UK performance in comparison.

Similarly, Sweden is consistently named within the top countries when it comes to the best places in the world to be a mother. In this year’s Mother’s Index, also published by Save the Children, the country comes in fourth place.

One hopes that amid the global turmoil of late, Sweden will be able to sustain its family policies in order that our children will become heirs to this model  At least, it all bodes well for the woman that Sweden is expecting to expect sometime soon. The media is currently on royal bump watch, closely guarding the waistline of Crown Princess Victoria.

More of an issue will surely be how Her Royal Highness and husband Prince Daniel will share their parental leave. I’m four months into mine with a way to go yet - so thank you Sweden and thank you too for following this far.

Promoting the Pappa lifestyle

From breastfeeding bikinis and baby blues remedies to ten things you never knew about poo; all this and more can be found amid the glossy pages of the many magazines aimed at new mums who are open to advice and succumb to advertising, all nicely packaged in a fashionable format.

Being a mum is indeed is a lifestyle in itself, wrapped up in consumerism with a slice of celebrity thrown in. While flicking through the pages of a recent Swedish edition, I found its new sister supplement (or should that be brother) – a magazine called Pappa – the more interesting read. The format is similar – real life dads re-living labour ward tales alongside guidance and must-have gadgets. Albeit with a masculine slant: “Buying a stroller is like buying a car,” it quipped.

The new-style manual for dads. Photo: Christine Demsteader

Whether men will trade in the titillating pages of lads’ mags for articles on breast pumps remains to be seen. But Sweden has long been promoting the pappa lifestyle. In 1974, it became the first country to offer dads paid leave from work with their newborn, changing the existing maternity leave system into all-round parental leave.

But it wasn’t met with the wanted response. Even by the early 1990s around 50 percent of new dads didn’t use up a single day. So a 1995 reform introduced the first pappamånad – the so-called father month was an incentive for change. It forced the “other” parent to take a minimum of 30 days leave or otherwise it would be lost. The second pappamånad was introduced in 2002 and today a minimum of 60 days is reserved for the “other” parent. Calls have been made since to make it a hat-trick and even extend it to 90 days.

A new initiative in the shape of financial reward came in 2008 with the jämställdhetsbonus (equality bonus). The more you claim the more you gain and parents who take an equal share can cash in on a lump sum of up to SEK 13,500.

Alas, despite attempts, Sweden apparently still has a way to go in reaching the ultimate 50-50. Around 31 years it seems. This year’s Pappaindex report, published by The Swedish Confederation for Professional Employees (TCO) reveals it will be around 2042 when fathers take the same amount of parental leave as mothers. On average, men today take around 22 percent, which equates to around four months and that figure has stagnated over the past three years.

For the rest of the world, the Swedish parental leave system is portrayed as a textbook example and many are left astonished that fathers don’t take better advantage of the opportunity. But even if families can afford to live after dad’s salary is reduced to 80 percent, taking an eight-month career break is probably too big a price to pay.

Parental-leave fathers like fika too. Photo: Stina Gullander/Imagebank Sweden

In a bid to get things moving again, the independent campaign Klart Jag Ska Vara Hemma (Of Course I’m Going To Be At Home) was initatied by Stockholm dad Carlos Rojas. He wants everyone to spread the word on the benefits of sharing the parental leave load while giving dads-to-be some pause for thought. The site also includes tips on everything from how to broach your boss to making money stretch.

And for guys that really want to fit the mould, they can try out the Gravidolizer – an instant pregnant makeover for men. Simply upload a photo and with a quick click develop a bump worthy of being six months pregnant. Or depending how you look at it a bad case of the beer belly. It seems some things between the sexes won’t change over the next 31 years and beyond.