Cue kind old granddad type who approached my son and I at an outdoor cafe. After the obligatory ooooohs, aaaahs and smiles came the line: “let’s hope there’s a job for him when he grows up.”

It’s a sign of the times, I suppose, made nonetheless more prevalent right now, as I type this final blog post from from my homeland in England, where we are on vacation.

The news of the riots involving disillusioned youth around the country has dominated the news and even prompted one commentator on a late night current affairs programme to ask the question: “why doesn’t this happen in Sweden?”

For the short while I’ve been back, I’ve been quizzed and questioned by friends and family about life in Sweden with a child – on topics I’ve discussed throughout the course of this blog – and their response draws a common consensus.

They marvel at the generous parental leave system, are amazed at the benefits given to fathers. Further down the line they sigh in wonder at the heavily subsidized daycare services and praise the way parents can take leave to look after their sick children, not to mention the free higher education.  

Put simply, people are generally astonished how Swedish society supports the family unit in its various guises.

In Sweden, this is nothing new. The importance of social welfare for families first came to the forefront in the 1930s thanks to Gunnar and Alva Myrdal. Both husband and wife partnership and political allies, they co-authored the book Crisis in the Population Question (Kris i befolkningsfrågan) in 1934. What was written to propose solutions to the country’s declining birthrate at the time became an influential foundation for the Swedish welfare model to come.  

Crown Princess Victoria - watch this space and waist! Photo: Paul Hansen

No, it’s not perfect and there are many things still to bemoan but I feel quite priviledged to be parenting in Sweden. As the forefather and mother of this pro child-parent society, Gunnar and Alva would be no doubt proud to know that Sweden tops the rankings in the latest Children’s Index, published by Save the Children, which rates developed countries on well-being in childhood. I won’t dwell too much on the UK performance in comparison.

Similarly, Sweden is consistently named within the top countries when it comes to the best places in the world to be a mother. In this year’s Mother’s Index, also published by Save the Children, the country comes in fourth place.

One hopes that amid the global turmoil of late, Sweden will be able to sustain its family policies in order that our children will become heirs to this model  At least, it all bodes well for the woman that Sweden is expecting to expect sometime soon. The media is currently on royal bump watch, closely guarding the waistline of Crown Princess Victoria.

More of an issue will surely be how Her Royal Highness and husband Prince Daniel will share their parental leave. I’m four months into mine with a way to go yet - so thank you Sweden and thank you too for following this far.

Everyone in society can contribute, parents especially, since baby care is going back to the future with the cloth diaper (nappy) making a comeback. This comprehensive article from a parenting magazing (only in Swedish) shares some interesting statistics.

Photo: Babybegreen.se

Every year, 414 million disposable diapers are disposed of in Sweden. That’s 20,000 tonnes of waste that equates to two percent of all household rubbish throughout the land.

It is estimated that cloth diapers make up less than five percent of the market in Sweden, but they are the most sought-after items from the range of ecological and organic products from Babybegreen.se

The online shop was launched in 2009 by Jenny Wanselius – an environmental advisor and mother of two who wanted to combine her roles. The idea was born along with her first child.

“When you have a baby, you get so much information that you have to buy so many things. It’s a bit excessive,” she says.

“Having a baby makes a huge impact on the planet. Everyone wants the best for their children and I wanted to give them a fresh start but felt you had to do all the research yourself to find organic products.” And so she created a one-stop shop with everything from toys and clothes to potties.

“Swedes as a whole are generally aware when it comes to green issues and parents are certainly interested and know it’s important,” Wanselius adds. “And if you buy less you can afford better quality.”

In a 2008, survey  of over 15,000 parents in Sweden, seven out of ten said they generally steered clear of organic products for their kids, labeling them “too expensive.”

According to Wanselius, cloth diapers are the ultimate environmental and economical alternative. The message is help save the environment while you save money too. Because you can’t put a price on the soft, warm touch of a baby’s skin.

Navigating the narrow maze of aisles with a pushchair proved something of an assault course. We were then almost imprisoned – our exit required brute force and a balancing act, having to hold open the heavy duty door with my backside while awkwardly squeezing the stroller through. It was a bad start and not a true representation of the city when it comes to strolling around. Considering it’s a fair-sized capital, Stockholm is fairly baby-friendly and as our day continued I took note.

With free and easy travel, Stockholm's buses get parents' seal of approval. Photo: Christine Demsteader

We ventured into the city on public transport. Thumbs up to the buses, on which you can travel free of charge with a stroller. Most have a double door entrance, can fit two-three pushchairs and allow for easy access onboard. Beware, however, that the metro and commuter train charge fares as normal and the lifts can be temperamental with a distinctly off-putting odour at certain stations.

Enter at your nose's peril! Photo: Christine Demsteader

An oasis of greenery and pushchairs. Photo: Christine Demsteader

There’s plenty of green to be seen. When Stockholm isn’t covered in snow, there’s a plethora of parks, open spaces and grassy spots to take respite amid the hustle and bustle of the city. Unless you want to avoid practising your rally skills with your stroller, it’s probably best to avoid Drottningatan on a Saturday afternoon.

Otherwise, the sidewalks (note, I say pavements) are generally spacious. So much so that sole pedestrians may well encounter a whole line-up of prams coming at them head on. Groups of mums and dads with strollers don’t seem to adhere to a single file rule here. Steer clear of the winding 13th-century cobbled streets in the Old Town (Gamla Stan). They are a definite no-no unless your baby enjoys a particularly bumpy ride and you enjoy exerting yourself up 45 degree inclines.

Look out for this sign! Photo: Christine Demsteader

Babies are generally well catered for at cafes. During a pit-stop for lunch, you may well notice that handy microwaves are provided so you can warm food or milk to their taste. Most establishments have at least one toilet equipped with a fold-down table to change your baby’s diaper (note again, I say nappy.) If you’re passing NK – Stockholm’s posh department store – take a trip to the fourth floor and enjoy the comfort of their fancy breast-feeding room for free.

Stockholm has made great strides to ensure buildings are accessible for wheelchair users so ramps, lifts, automatic or sliding doors most often come as standard which makes lighter work with a pushchair too. All in all, a day out in Stockholm with a baby is do-able and shouldn’t leave you stressed out, frustrated or sour, unlike the milk in my fridge this morning.

Three is the magic number. Photo: Martin Svalander/ imagebank.sweden.se

Sweden’s nuclear families house an average of 1.85 children. But according to a recent study, a new trend in having a third child has emerged over the last decade. Today around 18 percent of parents in Sweden have three children or more.

The typical Svenssons do exist in society today, even those with a hat-trick of kids in tow, but it’s the make up of Swedish parents that is changing face.

This week Stockholm Pride – the rainbow-colored annual LGBT festival – is in town and “openness” is the themed banner for 2011.

“For Stockholm Pride, openness is more about what you do than who you are,” says Pär Wiktorsson, chair of the event and organization. “Its the ability to see beyond what society perceives as ‘normal’, and understand that there is more than one kind of love, more than one way to live and raise a family.”

This year, American Thomas Beatie – a transgender male who gave birth to three children – was in Stockholm to make the opening speech at the event. Since the capital celebrated its first Pride festival in 1998, barriers for gay families have been broken down, namely the right to marry, adopt and – for lesbian couples – the right to insemination.

Rainbow kids in the Stockholm Pride parade. "My cousin has two mums," the sign says. Photo: Joakim Lovén/RFSL

There is still some way to go. Pressure continues from Sweden’s gay activists to make further reforms, ensuring LGBT parents have the same legal rights as their peers and their children grow up with the same security, possibilities and respect.

With these changes, a small but increasing number of children are living in “different” family constellations in Sweden today. In 2009, RFSL – The Swedish Federation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights began a three-year project – Children in Rainbow Families – to bring awareness to the matter.

Where did they start? Well, they didn’t try to convert the non-tolerant community, or preach to those already persuaded. Instead they targeted pre-schools, providing material for teachers to learn more about these modern-day families to share with Sweden’s youngest citizens.

It is this kind of thinking that surely opens the door for the next generation Svenssons – mothers Sara and Sandra or fathers Mikael and Markus to live in harmony next door or across the road from Ingemars’ clan.

Not the breast I spotted on the Stockholm commuter train. Photo: Carin Araujo/ www.sxc.hu

For those not in the know, it is World Breastfeeding Week. From August 1-7 the “breast is best” mindset is being celebrated throughout 170 countries worldwide. Marketing efforts even include a photo competition to promote this natural artform.

In Sweden, it is presumed you will want to breastfeed your baby. It’s not usually up for discussion in the pre-birth parenting groups and mothers that simply can’t produce seem to be consumed with guilt and explanation instead.

Yet, the country is a shining example for  the World Health Organization’s recommendation that exclusive breastfeeding is optimal for the first six months. The percentage of babies that have been breast-fed in Sweden hits the high nineties. Given the Swedes strict adherence to authority they routinely stop after half a year and switch to solids.

I have witnessed nursing rooms in Stockholm shopping malls but, as a rule, breastfeeding is not a discreet affair. Like most other mums, I think nothing of sitting on a street bench or stopping in the park to feed my hungry child. Yet fellow expat mum here who are holidaying in their homeland for the summer, have expressed concerns about expected reactions from breastfeeding at all, never mind baring it all in ful-frontal fashion. If it’s not a bottle, discretion is the word.

In 2009, a public breastfeeding display did capture attention in Sweden and the global media too. Ragnar Bengtsson, a 26-year-old father, decided to experiment to see if he could produce milk to breastfeed his future children. The self-styled Swedish “milkman” failed in his bid to lactate. Still, for his efforts, he won a trip to the States to appear on The Tyra Banks show – not a bad booby prize.

Now, I’ve been in Sweden long enough now to bare all. That Swedes have few inhibitions when it comes to being scantily clad was coined back in the sixties era of free love and sexual liberation. But somehow it stuck. The image remains of beautiful bare-chested blondes sweating in the sauna before running freely down to the water for a skinny-dipping session. It’s not an everyday occurrence but yes, they do and yes, I’ve joined in.

Being at one with nature is not quite the same when you’re on the Stockholm commuter train faced with a rather large breast to accompany your journey home. I recently spotted a mother openly feeding her child en route and chatting on her phone. No one poked their head out from behind their newspaper nor raised an eyebrow.

I took heed, stopped staring and refrained from whipping out my camera. Shame – a shot of this mobile-talking, mobile-feeding mother would surely have been a contender for the World Breastfeeding Week photo comp.

So far we’ve managed to listen all the way through to the letter H in the alphabetically-ordered two-disc compilation. That means I have had the pleasure of experiencing a tuneful rendition of Humpty Dumpty accompanied by dulcet Aussie tones.

Okay, so it was intended as a present for my son but it has served me well in jogging my memory back to my playschool days and enabling me to recall the actions that go with the lyrics.

Now it seems I am set to regress to being a two-year-old again and learn a new bunch of nursery rhymes. In Swedish. Yep, nevermind the changing accent, I’ll be taking on a different language.

I thought it wise to start now in fear my son will be subjected to embarrassing mum syndrome if I don’t know all the words. In a similar vein, I should really take the opportunity to master more than the first two lines of the national anthem and schnapps drinking ditty Helan Går while I’m at it.

Thankfully, when it comes to nursery rhymes, there are some variations on a theme, as you can find below.

Baa baa black sheep/Bä bä vita lamm
The lamb in the Swedish version has changed color to white while the melody has also completely transformed. Rather than a bag for the master, dame and little boy down the lane, there are various woollen garments for mum, dad and younger brother.

Incy Wincy Spider/Imse vimse spindel
The harmony is slightly altered but the plight of poor Incy, whose endeavors are blighted by the rainy weather, remain the same. Happily, the sunshine in Sweden also saves Incy’s adventurous streak.

Twinkle twinkle little stay/Blinka Lilla Stjärna
Same tune, same context. The Swedes also contemplate what this star that twinkles like a diamond in the sky really is but equally come to no conclusion.

Baby-anything-you-like advertisements to fill your parental leave diary. Photo: Christine Demsteader

This is a photo of the noticeboard at the local children’s health center. Admittedly, it’s a tad depleted thanks to Sweden’s annual custom that is sommarstängt – where much of the country shuts down for holidays during the month of July.

Here parents can find adverts for baby swim, baby sing, baby sign, baby rhythm and baby massage among other baby-related activities for you and your small child. The list is both exhaustive and potentially exhausting.

There I was thinking all Swedish mums (and dads) took it easy during their parental leave and the highlight of the day was a cafe meet with their peers.

No, it seems, like me many feel subjected to a filling a full weekly diary of pursuits in search of progressing their child’s development. Is this where pushy parent syndrome starts, I wonder?

Given Sweden’s generous parental leave system I suppose there’s a need to fill those numerous weeks with more than lunch dates and copious amounts of coffee and chat – from the sights around the city of mammas en masse, one is led to believe this is the Swedish mum’s staple diet.

With that being said, I’ve been trying to think of a good collective noun for mothers. A pride? A babble? An ambush? I’d be interested to hear your suggestions. Pick any stroller-friendly cafe during a weekday morning or afternoon and you’re bound to find a bunch out in force.

Because aside from housing the noticeboard, children’s health centers in Sweden habitually organize a mother group (mammagrupp), bringing local mums with babies born within the same month or so together.

Note: they are often officially referred to as a parent group in order not to push father’s aside but rest assured, this is a mum thing.

It’s an interesting initiative; you strike up an immediate bond with strangers and find yourself discussing personal family matters close to heart. Either that, or end up comparing babies, their prowess in the pool and melodic singing talents over the obligatory beverage.

With that said, it’s Wednesday and fast approaching lunchtime which is my cue to go and meet my pride as we ambush a cafe and talk baby babble.

- In Tunisia mothers receive 30 days off work, earning 67 percent of their salary. Fathers can claim one day of paternity leave if they work in the private sector. Public sector fathers fare better. Well, they get two days.
- Slovenian mums receive 12 months at full pay while dads are eligible for 11 days paternity leave.
- In South Africa, mothers can take up to four months off work and their salary is capped to 60 percent, depending on income. Fathers are given three days of paid leave.
- China keeps it simple. Ninety days for mums at 100 percent pay but no paid leave for fathers.

Before I give my verdict on whether Sweden truly lives up to its “most generous” label, I also found the following trivia worth sharing. (Insert liability waiver again).

- In Italy, full-time working mothers are entitled to two hours of rest every day for the first year back at work after giving birth.
. Maternity leave benefits in Singapore are not extended to women with their fifth child.
- In the Philippines, fathers are eligible to take seven days paternity leave but only if they are married.
- In Bulgaria, a grandparent can take the 12-month leave at 100 percent pay instead of either parent.

Now, Denmark and Norway are also often highly praised in the most generous parental leave league. In pure terms of the number of leave days (480) Sweden beats its Nordic neighbours. However, their approach is more straightforward and simple with fewer calculations needed. Indeed, Sweden’s complex process can give parents as much of a headache as a screaming child. Congrats to those who have survived the tangled web weaved by the Swedish Social Insurance Agency (Forsäkringskassan) and come out the other side practically unscathed.

Making claim to the most generous title until very recently was Lithuania. The Baltic nation provided two years of parental leave with 90 percent of pay in the first year and  75 percent in the second year. Very generous. However, in 2010 lawmakers voted in favour to make cuts after the World Bank made worrying calls over their budget deficit. The legislation came into effect this month.

Now, parents who take one year of leave will get 100 percent of their pay. They can choose to take two years of parental leave but benefits are reduced to 70 percent in the first year and to 40 percent in the second year.

In conclusion then, does Sweden have the most generous parental leave system in the world? Yes, as far as I can tell, it does now!

My son was on Facebook before he was even born. I announced my pregnancy on the social networking site to my wider circle of friends. Some people also got word of his arrival before I’d had chance to tell them personally thanks to a round of eager congratulatory messages posted on my wall within 24 hours of his birth. And that could be considered slow when compared to the growing number of breaking news babies whose mums tweet between contractions or update their status as they push.

The young Demsteader part 1.

We are indeed giving birth to the social media generation and even raising them online. Parents devote time to blog about their kids in diary form, they post cute photos and funny videos for everyone to see. Given that the Swedes are ranked first out of 138 countries in the latest World Economic Forum report on the usage of communications technology, it’s likely they do so more than most. Find out more fascinating facts here about the Swedes and their social media habits.

Now I found some old baby photos of myself the other day. I had forgotten about them until they fell out of an old book where I’d stored them to stop them curling at the edges. I’ll get round to that photo album someday. The matt-finished polaroids have stood the test of time despite their 34 years. They have that authentic antique tinge which adds to the air of nostalgia when I look at them.

The young Demsteader part 2.

Personally, I’m happy that my childhood pics and the memories that come with them have been privately preserved for me, rather than posted around the block. I wouldn’t normally want to share them with the world but, for the sake of this post, it seems I am.

Regardless of your online restrictions, today’s photos, videos and blogs are out there in the networked community cloud. And there they will likely stay until your baby turns teenager and beyond.

I wonder how William Nilsson will feel in a few years time when he replays his famous YouTube clip, knowing over 130 million have seen it before? The innocent, amateur video of this little Swedish boy went viral, became an internet phenomenon and is one of YouTube’s most watched clips to date.

We parents really don’t yet know the repercussions, if any, of uploading both a visual and verbal commentary of our kids’ lives online. We do know, however, that we won’t be stashing photos in a Kindle for safe-keeping.

The World Economic Forum tells us that Sweden is one of the top countries when it comes to demonstrating gender equality. Yet, kidswear stores in Sweden have yet to catch on to the concept that pink could be the new black for boys. And I’m pretty thankful to be honest. I couldn’t quite see myself kitting out my little boy in head-to-toe Hello Kitty.

Kalle in his spotted pink number. Photo: Staffan Claesson/Helena Kulle

Still, cross-dressing for kids is up for discussion. Writer Anette Skåhlberg was pretty disgusted when her son’s daycare had a quiet word about his dress sense. He liked to wear his sister’s dresses and his mother didn’t view it as promblematic. Other parents did.

So Skåhlberg took it upon herself to create the character of Kalle, based upon her son, and wrote the children’s books Kalle med klänning (Kalle with a dress) and Kalle som Lucia (Kalle as Lucia).

The stories, aimed from age two upwards, are part of a wider selection of fairytales penned by Skåhlberg to expose children to equality, openness and tolerance at an early age.

There’s also the likes of Princess Kristalla who goes against the wishes of her parents who want her to marry a prince while she wants to live happy ever after with her girlfriend. Meanwhile, male giraffes Jösta and Johan want to have a baby together and go on the hunt across the world looking for an egg.

Toys have certainly moved on an age since the days of my youth when it was strictly Action Man for boys and Barbie dolls for girls. But the thrill of “dressing up” has stood the test of time. When I was at nursery school I looked forward to Wednesday afternoons. That meant a great big chest filled with clothes and hats would come out of the closet along with our imaginations.

Today, no one will turn a blind eye to Pia becoming Pirate Jack but what about Fredrik who wants to be Fairy Frida? At the Egalia pre-school in Stockholm you can be whoever you want to be. The agenda is gender-free – with teachers refraining from using personal pronouns and instead refering to both boys and girls as “friends”.

The pre-school has recently made international headlines over its methods to break down typical male and female roles, which one commentator  labelled “gender madness”. I am inclined to agree. Let us not forget the story of Pop – the gender-free tot - whose Swedish parents cause a stir by deciding to keep their child’s sex a secret. While I commend the country’s mindful gender-gap endeavours, such lengths leave me red-faced rather than tickled pink.