Tag archives for sambo

Single is so 2010

This week you can try tango lessons, go rock climbing, have a picnic on the beach, play badminton, or enjoy a round of golf. But only if you’re single. The above are just a taste of activities arranged by members of Swedish dating site Shake My World.

Launched in 2008, it aims to turn traditional online match-making on its head by giving “Sweden’s active singles a more fun single life, full of energy and things to do.” It fulfills all the criteria of a dating site. Fill in your details, what you are looking for and surf the photos for any potential pickings

But for many it’s simply about finding like-minded people to share good times with. One member I know – divorced and with kids – says these days she sees herself as a ‘professional’ single. She’s looking for a bit of a laugh and a flirt rather than long-term romance. Another is a 30 something bachelor who has never been married and isn’t hoping to in the foreseeable future.

She looks happy. She's probably single. Photo: Henrik Trygg/Image Bank Sweden

“Swedes marry less, cohabit more, live in single-person households more, and marry at later ages than the people of any other rich country in the world.” It’s the opening line of a 2008 article in the Scandinavian Review entitled “Modern Sweden: The declining importance of marriage.”

It’s a good read and points to some sociological reasons why this trend has occurred, from gender quality and secularization to the sambo phenomenon – living together without tying the knot.

Indeed, in the last 50 years the number of marriages has gone down while the population and divorce statistics have increased.

But it’s rather more to do with the rising art of being single and happy with it. Indeed, Stockholm is believed to be home to more single people per head of population than any other capital.

Perhaps that’s one contributory factor as to why the phrase ‘särbo’ has come into more common usage of late – being in a relationship but not living together. I’d never heard of it when I moved here eight years ago. But even more compelling is the new expression in town – ‘självbo’.

Literally meaning ‘living alone’ it has been coined by those who want to get rid of the negative connotations surrounding the world single. For this rising Swedish community it’s their chosen way of life.

It is a truth universally acknowledged…

…that a single person with a reasonably nice standard of living must be in want of a Swedish partner. I don’t claim to be on par with Jane Austen’s prowess with a pen but, if she was writing about love in these 21st century times of political correctness, perhaps her male lead could be found in the heights of Northern Europe.

And rather than bearing a sword and duelling pistol, our newfound amorous hero – let’s call him Mr Svensson – would be holding a duster in one hand and carrying the baby in the other.

“I’ll do everything around the house while I’m on holiday and you’re working,” said my sambo, who is set to embark on his summer vacation while mine will be largely spent in the shade of the computer.

As thankful as I am, my eyes didn’t roll nor did my ears prick up at this declaration of domestic duty.

In the majority of Swedish households that I know, chores are split 50-50. And why not? Most women work and most companies allow the flexibility for either parent to leave the office early and pick up their kids from school or day care.

So while many may think there’s an exodus of foreign men descending on Sweden after winning the heart of a blonde beauty – think again. There’s equally an army of women who love the fact that their Swedish man knows the inner workings of the dishwasher.

A 2009 Oxford University study revealed that Swedish men make the world’s best potential partners, thanks to their egalitarian attitudes and those of the surrounding society.

Yet, a 2010 Demsteader study (completely unofficial and undertaken among a group of five friends over lunch) suggests that Swedish men should not rest on their laundry-time laurels alone.

A quick evaluation revealed that all time equality is celebrated, time-honored chivalry takes a backseat in Sweden. “Ladies first” is a forgotten trait and the gallant act of opening of a door is practically dead these days.

Seems to be somewhat of a lose-lose situation for the average Mr Svensson after all. But give me a clean bathroom rather than a bunch of roses any day. I say Sweden’s men should keep mopping with pride and without prejudice.