Tag archives for dating

Single is so 2010

This week you can try tango lessons, go rock climbing, have a picnic on the beach, play badminton, or enjoy a round of golf. But only if you’re single. The above are just a taste of activities arranged by members of Swedish dating site Shake My World.

Launched in 2008, it aims to turn traditional online match-making on its head by giving “Sweden’s active singles a more fun single life, full of energy and things to do.” It fulfills all the criteria of a dating site. Fill in your details, what you are looking for and surf the photos for any potential pickings

But for many it’s simply about finding like-minded people to share good times with. One member I know – divorced and with kids – says these days she sees herself as a ‘professional’ single. She’s looking for a bit of a laugh and a flirt rather than long-term romance. Another is a 30 something bachelor who has never been married and isn’t hoping to in the foreseeable future.

She looks happy. She's probably single. Photo: Henrik Trygg/Image Bank Sweden

“Swedes marry less, cohabit more, live in single-person households more, and marry at later ages than the people of any other rich country in the world.” It’s the opening line of a 2008 article in the Scandinavian Review entitled “Modern Sweden: The declining importance of marriage.”

It’s a good read and points to some sociological reasons why this trend has occurred, from gender quality and secularization to the sambo phenomenon – living together without tying the knot.

Indeed, in the last 50 years the number of marriages has gone down while the population and divorce statistics have increased.

But it’s rather more to do with the rising art of being single and happy with it. Indeed, Stockholm is believed to be home to more single people per head of population than any other capital.

Perhaps that’s one contributory factor as to why the phrase ‘särbo’ has come into more common usage of late – being in a relationship but not living together. I’d never heard of it when I moved here eight years ago. But even more compelling is the new expression in town – ‘självbo’.

Literally meaning ‘living alone’ it has been coined by those who want to get rid of the negative connotations surrounding the world single. For this rising Swedish community it’s their chosen way of life.

The language of love

“Kommer du hit ofta?” It’s a line you may want to learn in case you ever catch yourself in a crowded room, swooning over a Swede. But wait a minute before you start dashing off to boot up Google translate or purchase a pocket dictionary.

First things first, the chances of meeting an attractive Swede are fairly high. Sweden’s reputation as a nation of beautiful people precedes them. I live here. It’s true. And I’m used to it.

After a number of years living here up north – and complete with my own beautiful partner – I no longer feel the need to walk down the street, in constant amazement at the symmetry of chiselled jaw lines.

On that note, my sambo just walked through the door and told me he had been whistled at by a group of teenage girls. It made his day.

You can't really say they're ugly. Photo: Nicho Södling/Image Bank Sweden

A slightly more scientific case in point – but by no means conclusive – is the number of Swedes accepted to the Denmark–based dating website beautifulpeople.com

Applicants are judged on face value alone. They can join if other members deem them attractive enough to mingle with other beautiful singles.

A recent survey found that Swedish men have the highest rate of acceptance to the site. Swedish women also fare well, coming in second place to their stunning Scandinavian sisters in Norway.

All that being said, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and seeing is believing. Which is why British dating coach Jeremy Soul ended up moving to Stockholm last year.

We met when I was assigned to write an article, following him and his protégés in action. Their mission was to test techniques to chat up women on the streets of the capital.

I recall he thought Swedish women were some of the most beautiful in the world. They also found him hard to resist, not because he’s tall, blonde-haired and blue-eyed. He isn’t. But he was able to charm them through the language of love. And apparantly, that’s not Swedish.

The fact that Swedes love to converse in the English language and practise with native speakers gave him the upper hand with the opposite sex.

So he never bothered with “kommer du hit ofta?” as an opening line. And his style was far too sophisticated for the English equivalent “do you come here often?”

As for whether the people are really beautiful as they say, I guess you’ll have to pay more regular visits to Sweden to find out.