Tag archives for parental leave

Parenting in Sweden: a road less bumpy

I had another one of those encounters recently, you know, the ones I’ve told you about before where a stranger makes pleasant small talk on the basis of your baby. But this came with something of a twist.

Cue kind old granddad type who approached my son and I at an outdoor cafe. After the obligatory ooooohs, aaaahs and smiles came the line: “let’s hope there’s a job for him when he grows up.”

It’s a sign of the times, I suppose, made nonetheless more prevalent right now, as I type this final blog post from from my homeland in England, where we are on vacation.

The news of the riots involving disillusioned youth around the country has dominated the news and even prompted one commentator on a late night current affairs programme to ask the question: “why doesn’t this happen in Sweden?”

For the short while I’ve been back, I’ve been quizzed and questioned by friends and family about life in Sweden with a child – on topics I’ve discussed throughout the course of this blog – and their response draws a common consensus.

They marvel at the generous parental leave system, are amazed at the benefits given to fathers. Further down the line they sigh in wonder at the heavily subsidized daycare services and praise the way parents can take leave to look after their sick children, not to mention the free higher education.  

Put simply, people are generally astonished how Swedish society supports the family unit in its various guises.

In Sweden, this is nothing new. The importance of social welfare for families first came to the forefront in the 1930s thanks to Gunnar and Alva Myrdal. Both husband and wife partnership and political allies, they co-authored the book Crisis in the Population Question (Kris i befolkningsfrågan) in 1934. What was written to propose solutions to the country’s declining birthrate at the time became an influential foundation for the Swedish welfare model to come.  

Crown Princess Victoria - watch this space and waist! Photo: Paul Hansen

No, it’s not perfect and there are many things still to bemoan but I feel quite priviledged to be parenting in Sweden. As the forefather and mother of this pro child-parent society, Gunnar and Alva would be no doubt proud to know that Sweden tops the rankings in the latest Children’s Index, published by Save the Children, which rates developed countries on well-being in childhood. I won’t dwell too much on the UK performance in comparison.

Similarly, Sweden is consistently named within the top countries when it comes to the best places in the world to be a mother. In this year’s Mother’s Index, also published by Save the Children, the country comes in fourth place.

One hopes that amid the global turmoil of late, Sweden will be able to sustain its family policies in order that our children will become heirs to this model  At least, it all bodes well for the woman that Sweden is expecting to expect sometime soon. The media is currently on royal bump watch, closely guarding the waistline of Crown Princess Victoria.

More of an issue will surely be how Her Royal Highness and husband Prince Daniel will share their parental leave. I’m four months into mine with a way to go yet - so thank you Sweden and thank you too for following this far.

Parental leave: how do you spend yours?

Baby-anything-you-like advertisements to fill your parental leave diary. Photo: Christine Demsteader

This is a photo of the noticeboard at the local children’s health center. Admittedly, it’s a tad depleted thanks to Sweden’s annual custom that is sommarstängt – where much of the country shuts down for holidays during the month of July.

Here parents can find adverts for baby swim, baby sing, baby sign, baby rhythm and baby massage among other baby-related activities for you and your small child. The list is both exhaustive and potentially exhausting.

There I was thinking all Swedish mums (and dads) took it easy during their parental leave and the highlight of the day was a cafe meet with their peers.

No, it seems, like me many feel subjected to a filling a full weekly diary of pursuits in search of progressing their child’s development. Is this where pushy parent syndrome starts, I wonder?

Given Sweden’s generous parental leave system I suppose there’s a need to fill those numerous weeks with more than lunch dates and copious amounts of coffee and chat – from the sights around the city of mammas en masse, one is led to believe this is the Swedish mum’s staple diet.

With that being said, I’ve been trying to think of a good collective noun for mothers. A pride? A babble? An ambush? I’d be interested to hear your suggestions. Pick any stroller-friendly cafe during a weekday morning or afternoon and you’re bound to find a bunch out in force.

Because aside from housing the noticeboard, children’s health centers in Sweden habitually organize a mother group (mammagrupp), bringing local mums with babies born within the same month or so together.

Note: they are often officially referred to as a parent group in order not to push father’s aside but rest assured, this is a mum thing.

It’s an interesting initiative; you strike up an immediate bond with strangers and find yourself discussing personal family matters close to heart. Either that, or end up comparing babies, their prowess in the pool and melodic singing talents over the obligatory beverage.

With that said, it’s Wednesday and fast approaching lunchtime which is my cue to go and meet my pride as we ambush a cafe and talk baby babble.

The most generous parental leave in the world?

If you type the phrase “parental leave Sweden” into Google, among the 320,000 results you may well find the word “generous” attached. Sometimes it even stretches to the phrase “one of the most generous in the world.” Sweden.se already has a nice simple explanation of how the system works which relieves me of a job. But on a quest to find out how good we really have it here, I continued to scour the internet for comparisons. Now I can’t wholeheartedly vouch for these examples – hey, I found them on the net – so here comes the liability waiver. If you know different, let us know!

- In Tunisia mothers receive 30 days off work, earning 67 percent of their salary. Fathers can claim one day of paternity leave if they work in the private sector. Public sector fathers fare better. Well, they get two days.
- Slovenian mums receive 12 months at full pay while dads are eligible for 11 days paternity leave.
- In South Africa, mothers can take up to four months off work and their salary is capped to 60 percent, depending on income. Fathers are given three days of paid leave.
- China keeps it simple. Ninety days for mums at 100 percent pay but no paid leave for fathers.

Before I give my verdict on whether Sweden truly lives up to its “most generous” label, I also found the following trivia worth sharing. (Insert liability waiver again).

- In Italy, full-time working mothers are entitled to two hours of rest every day for the first year back at work after giving birth.
. Maternity leave benefits in Singapore are not extended to women with their fifth child.
- In the Philippines, fathers are eligible to take seven days paternity leave but only if they are married.
- In Bulgaria, a grandparent can take the 12-month leave at 100 percent pay instead of either parent.

Sweden’s parental leave system has put the country on the map. Photo: imagebank.sweden.se

Now, Denmark and Norway are also often highly praised in the most generous parental leave league. In pure terms of the number of leave days (480) Sweden beats its Nordic neighbours. However, their approach is more straightforward and simple with fewer calculations needed. Indeed, Sweden’s complex process can give parents as much of a headache as a screaming child. Congrats to those who have survived the tangled web of weaved by the Swedish Social Insurance Agency (Forsäkringskassan) and come out the other side practically unscathed.

Making claim to the most generous title until very recently was Lithuania. The Baltic nation provided two years of parental leave with 90 percent of pay in the first year and  75 percent in the second year. Very generous. However, in 2010 lawmakers voted in favour to make cuts after the World Bank made worrying calls over their budget deficit. The legislation came into effect this month.

Now, parents who take one year of leave will get 100 percent of their pay. They can choose to take two years of parental leave but benefits are reduced to 70 percent in the first year and to 40 percent in the second year.

In conclusion then, does Sweden have the most generous parental leave system in the world? Yes, as far as I can tell, it does now!

Promoting the Pappa lifestyle

From breastfeeding bikinis and baby blues remedies to ten things you never knew about poo; all this and more can be found amid the glossy pages of the many magazines aimed at new mums who are open to advice and succumb to advertising, all nicely packaged in a fashionable format.

Being a mum is indeed is a lifestyle in itself, wrapped up in consumerism with a slice of celebrity thrown in. While flicking through the pages of a recent Swedish edition, I found its new sister supplement (or should that be brother) – a magazine called Pappa – the more interesting read. The format is similar – real life dads re-living labour ward tales alongside guidance and must-have gadgets. Albeit with a masculine slant: “Buying a stroller is like buying a car,” it quipped.

The new-style manual for dads. Photo: Christine Demsteader

Whether men will trade in the titillating pages of lads’ mags for articles on breast pumps remains to be seen. But Sweden has long been promoting the pappa lifestyle. In 1974, it became the first country to offer dads paid leave from work with their newborn, changing the existing maternity leave system into all-round parental leave.

But it wasn’t met with the wanted response. Even by the early 1990s around 50 percent of new dads didn’t use up a single day. So a 1995 reform introduced the first pappamånad – the so-called father month was an incentive for change. It forced the “other” parent to take a minimum of 30 days leave or otherwise it would be lost. The second pappamånad was introduced in 2002 and today a minimum of 60 days is reserved for the “other” parent. Calls have been made since to make it a hat-trick and even extend it to 90 days.

A new initiative in the shape of financial reward came in 2008 with the jämställdhetsbonus (equality bonus). The more you claim the more you gain and parents who take an equal share can cash in on a lump sum of up to SEK 13,500.

Alas, despite attempts, Sweden apparently still has a way to go in reaching the ultimate 50-50. Around 31 years it seems. This year’s Pappaindex report, published by The Swedish Confederation for Professional Employees (TCO) reveals it will be around 2042 when fathers take the same amount of parental leave as mothers. On average, men today take around 22 percent, which equates to around four months and that figure has stagnated over the past three years.

For the rest of the world, the Swedish parental leave system is portrayed as a textbook example and many are left astonished that fathers don’t take better advantage of the opportunity. But even if families can afford to live after dad’s salary is reduced to 80 percent, taking an eight-month career break is probably too big a price to pay.

Parental-leave fathers like fika too. Photo: Stina Gullander/Imagebank Sweden

In a bid to get things moving again, the independent campaign Klart Jag Ska Vara Hemma (Of Course I’m Going To Be At Home) was initatied by Stockholm dad Carlos Rojas. He wants everyone to spread the word on the benefits of sharing the parental leave load while giving dads-to-be some pause for thought. The site also includes tips on everything from how to broach your boss to making money stretch.

And for guys that really want to fit the mould, they can try out the Gravidolizer – an instant pregnant makeover for men. Simply upload a photo and with a quick click develop a bump worthy of being six months pregnant. Or depending how you look at it a bad case of the beer belly. It seems some things between the sexes won’t change over the next 31 years and beyond.

Cries from the motherland

I counted 14 out of 20 strollers on a sunny Stockholm day sporting a plastic coffee cup holder. No, it seems I’m not your average Swedish mom. I am one of 2,7 million mothers residing in this country and according to Statistics Sweden the majority are called Eva. According to my meagre quantitative research most also boast the nifty coffee cup gadget. I, however, own neither name nor accessory. And I probably haven’t read the going rate of parenting books either.

Still, there are some universal truths to being a parent wherever you are in the world. Like sleepless nights – hence the need for a caffeine kick within easy reach, quite possibly. With that said I find myself typing this first post at 5am after flicking through chapters of The Contented Little Baby Book and The  No-Cry Sleep Solution – I have a sizeable library of US and British child-rearing literature kindly donated by fellow moms but despairingly overlooked by this one. Until now.

I choose sleep over selected bedtime reading. Photo: Christine Demsteader

These maternal gurus write that my near three-month-old son should now be well-versed in a four-hourly feeding routine by now. In fact, I should have set the pattern rolling shortly after he took his first breath in the open-air. The Swedish healthcare system, however, continues to encourage me to feed on demand – a fair method methinks since I advocate it personally. Put philosophically, I’m hungry, therefore I eat. (Feeding on demand seems somewhat strange in a country where just about all office workers feel compelled to leave their desks for lunch at 11.30am prompt.)

But back to the matter in hand, being a first-time mom in my non-native land leaves me somewhat stuck in no man’s land. Should I take heed and hark back to the way things are done back home? How about comparing notes with fellow moms from my motherland? Or should one sit back and fully embrace the good guide to Swedish parenting?

I succumbed to both caffeine and consensus in the end. Photo: Christine Demsteader

While I’m keen to expose my Englishness on his upbringing, I hope to avoid conflict when choosing my way over the Swedish superbaby highway. This is just one of many considerations I intend to explore further in this Mamma blog. For now though, it’s unlikely I’ll be changing my name to Eva but those practical café latte holders seem more appealing by the minute.

 

A Swedish Classic

Yesterday I got a call from a big international magazine. They were desperately searching for a classical Swedish ad from the 70´s showing weightlifter Hoa-Hoa Dahlgren with a baby in his arms. The ad was made by Försäkringskassan (the Swedish Social Insurance Agency) in order to encourage fathers to increase their parental leave.

After a few hours of searching I finally got in touch with an extremely helpful man on Försäkringskassan who sent me the picture. Of course I needed to share it.

A classical Swedish ad for parental leave from the 70´s. Photo: Reio Rüster

A classic Swedish ad for parental leave from the 70´s. Photo: Reio Rüster

Today the baby on the picture is a grown up man. He just recently became a father and took five months off work to care for his little daughter.

/Cecilia